I have a seven-year-old one-eyed rescue pug I've had for four months. I shave him weekly to keep him cool, keep a gallon of fresh water in my van (which has ice-cold AC) and park in the shade and leave the windows down if I have to leave him in the van -- which is always just for five minutes.
I walk out to my van Friday from being in the store for five minutes, and I see there is a 40ish woman with wraparound sunglasses and a cellphone in her hand standing near my van. I also notice the door to my van is ajar.
I start to get in my van, and she asks me, "Is this your van?"
No, of course not, I'm getting into a stranger's van. I just happen to have the key. She tells me she has called the police because I left my dog in the car.
I realize I'm dealing with a loon. The police aren't going to do anything, and in fact get calls like this all the time.
So I check her out -- the bitter, hostile look, the lack of a ring on her finger, and I decide this is a woman who has gone through a bad divorce, probably seeing a therapist, and is taking her problems out on me. So I decide to turn it around on her.
"Look lady," I tell her, "I suggest you take care of your own problems first, like getting that bitter, hostile look off of your face because you went through a bad divorce."
Her mouth drops open and she takes a step back. Then she yells at me, "You just wait until the police get here!"
I tell her the police aren't going to do anything to me, and besides, I have other things to do that wait for them to show up and tell her she's a moron.
As I'm driving away she screams at me, "You're no gentleman." To which I respond, "That is the ONLY thing you've gotten right about this."
Posted by Bob Wallace, who realized a long time ago that stupid cannot be fixed.