The Sudden Curve

now entering ... Meximerica

posted by Tom Novak, who is toolin' up Amnesty Avenue

Another reason to visit Luxor, Las Vegas

Jim Bown works at Luxor! Yeah huh, he does too ... look:

See there he is having a photo op with some nice nuns who are on vacation in Vegas.

posted by Tom Novak, who says "fine, don't believe me - watch Mars Attacks! yourownselves, and then you'll believe."

More Scientific Pyramid Architecture comparisons

This is a shot of that old stone Pyramid and it's Sphinx in Egypt:

And here we have the same thing in new glass at the Pyramid of Luxor in Las Vegas Nevada:

Now this is the interior in Egypt: 

And this is the view of the interior in the Las Vegas Pyramid :

Here is typically what you'll find in an egyptian pyramid :

Meanwhile, typically inside the pyramid of Luxor Las Vegas we find these things (shows nightly) :

posted by Tom Novak, who asks , uh, which pyramid would YOU rather visit?   Um hmm, yeah, I thought so ...

Is that a Carrot Top in your pocket ... or are you just glad to see me?

Well, I'm back from Vegas and yes, before I could get into my room with the awesome view of Mandalay Bay this is what I had to look at every time on my key, Carrot Top.    Carrot Top??? Geez, who thought of that?

If that's not bad enough, of all the hot show girl babes and fabulous stars and glitterattaratti jet setters and lost boys and golden girls - who is it that I bump into in the casino - that's right, Carrot Top.   Carrot Top???? Geez.

Anyway, Luxor Las Vegas  is cool.  It's a lot better than the stinky old shit hole in Egypt it's named after. Man, forget that place - they don't even have a decent buffet there.   Peee - yew.  I'll take Viva Las Vegas anytime.

posted by Tom Novak, who won a planet and forty-thousand quatloos offa some big brains in glass jars. Big brains in glass jars will bet on a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g.

Injun Joe

Dang, can't find a picture of the real Injun Joe anywhere.

While She-Who-Must-be-Obeyed and I were on the tour through the Mark Twain Cave in Hannibal, Missouri, the guide told everyone the real story of the villainous Injun Joe, who in Twain's fiction was accidentally sealed in the cave until he starved to death.

Turns out Injun Joe was based on a real live human being, Joe Douglas. Joe was a half-breed and actually one of the good guys. Unfortunately he was hideous looking from a bad case of small pox, plus he had been scalped and covered it up with a red horse-hair wig.

One day Injun Joe asked Twain why he made him the villain, and Twain admitted Joe used to scare the daylights out of all the kids because of the way he looked.

Joe got his revenge, though -- sort of. He lived to be 102 years old, and the only reason he died is because he keeled over from food poisoning after eating a bad lot of his favorite food -- pickled pig's feet.

Posted by Bob Wallace, who felt really, really ill the first time I saw pickled pig's feet.

Mark Twain Cave in Hannibal, Missouri

She-Who-Must-be-Obeyed and I went to Hannibal, Missouri over the weekend. It's Mark Twain's birthplace, for those who don't know.

We did the tour of his house, went on the riverboat, peeked out over Lover's Leap, and did the cave tour.

This is the cave in which Tom and Becky got lost for three days, and it's the one in which Injun Joe got trapped and starved to death.

I liked the cave, but then I like all caves. SWMBO always has a little bit of claustrophobia but she made it through like a trooper.

Posted by Bob Wallace, who found it was the coldest cave in Missouri -- 52 degrees all year round.

A Vacation in the Ozarks

I just got back from spending four days in Branson, Mo. It turns out Laura Ingalls Wilder, who did the Little House on the Prairie books, spent most of her life in a small town in the Ozarks called Mansfield. She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed and I visited the museum. Wilder's daughter, Rose Wilder Lane, was also a writer, and the author of one of the first libertarian classics, The Discovery of Freedom. So far I've missed reading it, but I've heard it was a hugely influential book. Unfortunately, the family hasn't left any descendents, a shame for such talented people.

Posted by Bob Wallace, who didn't catch one friggin' fish.

P.S. The tour guide told us Laura Ingalls Wilder was only 4'11' and her husband Almanzo only 5'4". They built their house in Mansfield with low ceilings. I could touch them without a problem. The museum and house are a must-see if you're ever in the area.

Awww. . .This is So Cute

I'm buying some land and putting a house up in Branson pretty soon. Mostly I'm tempted to buy a used double-wide trailer and remodel it. Then I found out about these--Tiny Tumbleweed Houses. Most can be towed behind your car, Most are way too small, but the designs are sound. Perhaps I'll just build a larger one, say 1200 square feet. Cute, aren't they?

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO USED TO LIVE ON A BOAT.

Dam those Damns... and other environmental dam disasters ~ Updated

What with all this Branson talk and all, we thought we'd best dredge up Iffy's  fabulouso, award-wiiiining and wildly popular  - fishing in the Ozarks -post from years ago.  Iffy himself, dis-pond-ed after his failed Election '04 Presidential run as candidate of the Huge Ass Beers Party has  retreated to Lilly's Landing with a cane pole and a three-pack of Bud and hasn't been seen since ...

Trout Fishing in America is alive and well.  Even in places where there didn't used to be trout fishing in America.  Trout fishing in America is not my name, like the guy in that hippie book, written by the guy whose last name sounds like some kind of composted sandwich meat; it’s what I do when I don't hunt, and what I did again recently. 

I always like to enjoy Mother Nature at her finest, and where you can find her at her finest is in the shadow of a man made environmental disaster.  The man made disaster in this case is the Table Rock dam.  It’s one of several on the White river as it runs its course through southwestern Missouri and northwestern Arkansas.  A chain of lakes were formed when hydroelectric dams were built back in the forties, fifties and sixties.   

Remember those days?  Back when the future looked like the Jetsons, and when man made stuff was regarded with awe and respect rather than labeled as an eco disaster?   Back when a facility for production of electricity meant improved standards of living and an increasing economy, and drew cheers of adulation instead of derelict hippy enviro-terrorists, fitted out like mountaineers and oozing filth and their filthy socialist rhetoric. 

The tail waters of the Table Rock dam become what is called “Lake Taneycomo”, bounded on the downstream end by the Powersite dam.  Lake Taynecomo is really more of a river than a lake, because when the generators at Table Rock are generating, the gates at Powersite have to be opened too, and there is a pretty hefty current.  The water that flows through the generators comes out at about 42 degrees, and with all the aeration it gets from running through the turbines, and flowing swiftly over the rocky streambed, it becomes just about perfect habitat for freshwater shrimp.  Those are tiny crustaceans which would be completely worthless were it not for the fact that they are a highly nutritious food source for Onchorincus Mykiss, a.k.a. the Rainbow Trout.  Lake Taneycomo is host to a huge population of rainbows, which is supplemented with hatchery stockings on a regular basis.

It also holds a naturally reproducing population of Brown Trout, which can easily reach 15 to 25 lb. sizes in its rich waters. 

I went fishing there this weekend.  We fished up close to the dam in the “Trophy” area, where you aren’t allowed to use anything but artificial baits.  It’s a great area for fly-fishing when the generators aren’t running because there is a huge open area on both sides of the stream, allowing for easy fly-casting.  The fish are plentiful but finicky.  We always catch and release there, mainly because if you don’t they’ll fine you about sixty bucks for keeping a fish that isn’t in the legal size bracket.  You can’t possess a fish that is between 12 and 20 inches long.  You can possess them if they are either shorter, or longer.  We seldom catch either in those ranges there. 

We fly-fish in the AM up by the dam, and then when the generators start and the water comes up, we go to boats and drift fish lower down on the lake.  Drifting with night crawlers, artificial eggs, or power baits will get you a boatful of nice eating size Rainbows in a day’s time if you are attentive enough to detect a hit as your drift rig bounces along the rocky bottom.

We always have a great fishing experience on Taneycomo, and besides the fishing, what makes it great is the place where we stay which is called Lilleys Landing  The cabins or apartments are well appointed with full kitchens, etc, and the hospitality and fishing expertise that are available from the staff there are without peer in the Taneycomo area.  We always bring steaks and booze, which combine for a mighty feast and bullshit festival after the first day’s fishing.  Then on the second night, after we have filled our creels, we have a fish feast.

   
            

Our day on Saturday found the fishing spottier than usual, and with many of the trout running smaller than we are used to.  We threw a bunch of dinks back, but managed to catch enough nice eating size fish for a filling feast.  Fresh trout fillets, a nicely chilled Pinot Grigio, salad, and a dessert of Opus X cigars and MacAllan 18 year old Single Malt made a fitting end to a glorious day of fishing, wrestling feisty rainbows and a couple of nice browns, watching eagles fly, beavers swimming and working like beavers, and all the sorts of beautiful wonders of nature I’ve come to expect when I visit the site of a man-made enviro-disaster.

If you look up Taneycomo, you'll find out that it runs right through the town of Branson, MO, which many know as a kind of elephant/s graveyard of country music and celebrities.  Don't let the tourist trap image fool you.  It's hellish for traffic during the summer, (and the fishing is still worth the hassle) but during the offseason, it becomes a true fisherman's paradise  

posted by IFYA, editor on the lam from the chops

   
         

A Way-Cool Hotel

It does not matter to me what kind of motel I stay in. Mom and Pop's $25 a night place is fine with me. However, She (aka "She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed"), will not stay in such places, and ignores Me (aka "He-Who-Is-Always-To-Be-Ignored"). She must always stay in the finest places, affordable only because she has one of those time-share thingies. So, last time we were in Branson, we stayed at the Marriot Horizons. The bathtub impressed me immensely, I'll grant you that. Actually, it was the nicest place I've ever stayed. It impressed me, and I'd just as soon sleep in the back of a Chevy Caprice wagon. Heck of a place --indoor pool, weight room,  a lodge, washer and drier in the room. etc.

Here's what I found on the internet about it:

Marriot Horizons
2929 Green Mountain Drive
Branson, Missouri 65616 USA
Phone:  1 417 348 3100
Fax:  1 417 348 3199
Sales:  1 417 348 3000

Imagine an all-American town that boasts more theater seats than Broadway -- that's Branson, Missouri, home of Horizons(SM) by Marriott Vacation Club at Branson. With a "Hometown USA" feel, fantastic entertainment, family attractions and outdoor recreation, Branson makes the perfect setting for this self-contained vacation community. Splash in Cascades Swimming Pool or indoors at Canopy Cove(SM) pool, workout at The Gym, gather the family for a party at The Den or for arcade entertainment at the QuarterDeck.(SM) Delight in a two-bedroom, two-bath vacation villa created to offer you room to spare in a cozy, country ambience. A private balcony, separate living and dining areas, a full kitchen and three televisions complete the right-at-home feeling this resort inspires.

If you're going to stay in Branson, and can afford this place, I highly recommend it.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO'D JUST AS SOON SLEEP IN A TENT, AND DID A LOT, AS A TEENAGER.

The Gloria Winery

I don't like interstates. The back roads are much more interesting, because I have no problems with wandering. While making my way through the Ozarks with She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed we saw a little winery off of the highway. It was a little family-run business, consisting of the trailer in which they lived, a grove which appeared to be an acre-and-a-half, and a shed for winemaking. Missouri has probably at least 50 wineries, but I had no idea they could be so small.

When we pulled in the gravel parking lot, there was a sign instructing us to honk! So we did, and out comes a couple, the owners of the place. They had a litle wine-tasting room. Hey, that was good stuff, and if you've ever down that way, stop in an pick up a few bottles. Or give them a call and have them ship a few bottle to you. They told us they don't make much money, but have a heck of a good time. Really, isn't the good time what really matters?

Here's some stuff I found on the internet about it.

Gloria Winery
11185 Stave Mill Road
Mountain Grove, MO 65711
417-926-6263

Located on Highway 60 between Mountain Grove and Cabool, Missouri, Gloria Winery is one of just a handful of wineries situated in the hills of the Ozark Mountain viticulture region.

William and Jane Toben, owners of this small family-run winery, planted their first vines in 1972, and had  their first commercial crush in 1991. Gloria Winery opened to the public in 1992. The Tobens are committed to serving a very special segment of the Missouri wine market.

The winery specializes in hearty red European-style table wines made from estate-grown French-hybrid grape varieties only recently introduced to the Missouri wine industry. Lighter, sweeter styles are also produced.

The winery features vineyard tours,  a tasting room,  Missouri juices & cheeses, and wine-related gift items. Hours are daily from 11:00 am –Sundown.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO KNOWS THAT WINE IS GOOD FOR YOU.

Umm Umm Good

While on the way to Branson a few weeks ago we stopped at Michelle's Cafe in Eureka, Mo. It's right off of 44, west of St. Louis. Get off on 109 and go south. Easy to find. I ordered plain old hash browns and an omelet, and it was the best meal I'd had in my life. And for about $5.50! I asked the owner if the cook was a professional chef, and she said yes, he was. So here's the address:

Michelle's Café
104 S Central Ave
Eureka MO
636-938-5595

Believe me, you won't regret it.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO'S SORRY HE EVER ATE AT MCDONALDS.

 

This Bike Laughs at Hogs

This is the Triumph Rocket III, at 2300 cc the largest production bike in the world.

I go to the moon on mine every weekend, so I can knock golfballs around. Go ahead and spend $33,000 for a full-dresser Harley;

the Rocket laughs at such silliness!

posted by Bob Wallace , who DESERVES EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOUT HIM!

Koi Barrel Fountain

Even more, Speaking of Geeks - Gnomedex

Editors @ Large, don't forget to register for Gnomedex 4:

We have booked the Uber Junker Suite over at Harrah's. Updates to follow ~

Outward unBound

( Spaceship One )

Universe Today is a very good site to follow to keep your spaceyness current.

Going to be at the Bathtub?

posted by tortuga tommy, editor corrupted by the filthy class of '86.

Time for a *NEW* Florida Real Estate Boom

Forget those stupid Condos and the golf courses and the ranch houses with the plastic flamingos in the front yard and put in about a thousand of these waterfront developments in the gulf:

Isn't this pretty? And practical. It's one of the places where we are considering moving the TSC offices

Next we can go shopping for local Gulf-coast refineries. Oh, what? There aren't any??? Oh gee, and who's genius idea was that? Algore? Jimmy Bluffert? Sheesh.

posted by tortuga tommy, editor who asks if oil rigs are so darn bad howscome that's where all the fish are? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?

Flying into Lost Angeleeze ...

Bringing in a couple of keeeeze.

Uhm -err, ah Whoopsie! Forget that line (Arlo Guthrie didn't have to deal with zero tolerance or John Ashcroft) ... but anyway, don't check our bags, Pleeeeazee, Mr. Customs Maaan!

Hi everybody, we've arrived.

\

( editors Supreme Uber Junker and Tortuga Tommy at the controls of SC-1 flying west of Bermuda discussing who forgot the GPS manual as the compass spins wildly.)

Well almost.

We are currently winging our way east out of the sun and headed home aboard SC-1, our custom tri-motor goose. But we forgot to mention a week or two ago that the entire editorial staff of The Sudden Curve would be headed off on another supreme uber junket east of Sumatra and West of the Hebrides.

(editors Bob Wallace, Slim and Iffy relaxing and ordering dark 'n stormys in SC-1's spacious passenger compartment somewhere over The Slot)

We did leave NOBODY in the offices, but the spectral nitwit didn't post a single thing or answer the phone for two weeks. Must have been sweeps week. Next time we'll hide the teevee remote before we leave.

And then, of course, editor Humberto Fontova had to miss this flying junket to stay behind in his swamp slaving away on his upcoming certain-to-be-a-bestseller book to be released this fall about Cuba. And we can't wait.
Although rumor has it that he did manage to get out and celebrate Cinco de Mayo last week.
As this candid pixture at right seems to suggest. We'll wait for the police reports before we corroborate or make snarky judgemental ethnic jokes.

Speaking of offices, this junket was a search for new commercial office space for our ever-expanding editorial staff (those additional barstools take up a lot of room). Because of the huge growth in readership of TSC in the last few months (thanks all nine of you out there in the blogosphere - you know who you are!) we've outgrown first the basement, then the garage and even the Bourbon Street Location (it didn't work out so well - too much noisy politicking going on at all hours of the night). In a search for suitable digs we tri-motored from location to location past the "here be monsters" legends on all the charts and we looked at a lot of real estate. We'll be putting some of it up for viewing, later. After we land ... take the dust covers off the furniture and delete all the spam we know has piled up.

Updates to Follow.

posted by ROBO, editor who should have been piloting all along since he has a custom trans-sat uplink built into his software (but those fatheads never let me have any fun) - darn it!

Mr Iffy goes to Washington

…not to be an extinguished member of the U. S. Sinners or the House of Reprehensibles, I couldn't stomach that, but to do some serious Washington power brokering stuff never the less.

Every now an then I take a notion to fly up to that lovely civil engineering creation of Stone the Baby’s (well, that IS how you translate Pierre L’Enfant’s name into hinglish, or if I remember my high school Francaise right, it is...) to broker some power. I haven’t got much power to broker mind you, don’t take me for a braggart, and a one or two day trip generally finishes things off for me and lasts a good while.

We got into town the afternoon before, and had plenty of time for a good dinner and an evening on the town to get us all ginned up for the next days power brokering. Dinner was at the famous Occidental Grill, which is situated next to the famous Willard Hotel, about which more will be said later.

The Occidental lists itself as a fine dining establishment specializing in American Cuisine, and it is not a liar in this claim. The Occidental is the site of many famous and probably infamous power-brokering meetings. The most important of these might have been a 1962 clandestine meeting between one John Scali, an ABC-TV State Department Correspondent, and an unidentified KGB Agent that led to the official negotiated settlement of the Cuban Missile Crisis. A plaque that hangs above it identifies the booth at which this meeting took place. I did not see that plaque, but there are enough pictures of Washington wheels on the wall to outfit a freight train that would reach from Bangor to San Diego.

After a suitably oily three-olive Ketel One vodka martini, I enjoyed a lovely fresh green salad with vinaigrette dressing. Dinner was a delicious and tender lamb shank on a bed of barley risotto along with a nicely flavored side of creamed spinach. I don’t know what was in the sauce served with the lamb but I’d pay a good price for the recipe. The Occidental has a very nice wine list, and when they proved to be out of the wine we ordered, the waitress unhesitatingly upgraded us. I had a lovely Duckhorn Merlot which was a nice compliment to the lamb. The dessert menu there is like most. It’s full of gorgeous, sweet, gooey looking stuff I would love to eat but won’t since I’m counting carbs these days.

From the Occidental, we adjourned next door to the historic Round Robin Bar situated in the famous Willard Hotel. This is the bar where Henry Clay introduced America to the Mint Julep, where the civil war was debated, discussed, and nearly averted, and of which Nathaniel Hawthorne said it was probably a more important center of power than any other place in the Capitol. The Round Robin has the ambience of a dark, smoky, (but there’s no smoking) leathery old bar that fairly reeks of big-time, high-powered wheeling and dealing. They have an excellent selection of premium liquors and a passable array of Ports from which we selected a Taylor late bottled vintage. Too bad we couldn’t have a cigar with it, but we would take care of that matter later.

The next stop was the equally quaint and historic bar at the Old Ebbitt Grill. This place is just a few steps from the White House, and has been in operation since 1856. There’s lots of mahogany and brass, and plenty of animal heads on the walls, to bring back memories of Teddy Roosevelt. Another Washington Bar that just exudes power and intrigue. Speaking of lamb shanks, we were graced here with the brief company of a most delicious young blonde, who was seated at the bar next to us. She added immensely to the ambiance of the place, until she departed with her suitor. I shall leave her name and other vital statistics to your imaginations. One quickly observes that exquisite young ladies are drawn to the money and power of Washington like coyotes to a gut-pile.

Last stop was a cigar bar known as Shelly’s Backroom. This place has been written up in Cigar Afficionado, and is the consummate cigar bar. There is an endless selection of fine cigars, and very pleasant surroundings in which to enjoy them. We stayed only long enough to finish a short Panatella, with a nice single malt to accompany it, and then had to be off to our hotel and a brief (and fitful, if you care to read about it see below) sleep before our early morning power-brokering meetings began.

Washington DC is really not a bad place at all. I rather like it. I like it especially because it is so rich in the most excellent of vices and indulgences, though one has to absorb the raw irony of what it offers in view of what those Sinners and Reprehensibles on “the hill” who think they run the place make it sound like it ought to be. I’ll enjoy my next trip there.

posted by IFYA, editor at Potomacmain Poisoning