The Sudden Curve

RIP George Carlin

posted by Tom Novak, who says, in honor of George we have busted the TSC censorship rules WIDE open!

Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad ~ on DVD

Team America: World Police - Unrated (Widescreen Special Collector's Edition)

posted by Tom Novak, who has killed the terrorists, recovered the WMD's and is now flying back to Mount Rushmore with the rest of the Team for debriefing and cocktails!

Trail of the Screaming Forehead ~ the Trail Trailer

posted by Tom Novak, who still obeys his inner lost skeleton

The three DVDs with the best Commentary Tracks ~ on DVD

I've missed almost all of the first run movies the last few years so catching up by watching movies on DVD from Netflix is great.    And one of the great things about DVDs that's better'n 'n the theater is that you get bonus tracks along with the movie. Mostly though, what you end up with is listening to some lameoid director and an actor or two droning on about "motivation" and "emoting" or some drivel about what lenses they used and whatnot, or some producer bitching about how expensive movies are to make and how difficult the studios executives make things.

Boring,boring, boring!

If we wanted to know any of that we'd go to UCLA and major in film and wait tables for a living. However, once in a while you get a DVD that has bonus tracks that are as good as the feature. I narrowed it down to the three DVD versions with the commentary tracks that I like the best so far so The Sudden Curve audience would be sure to see and hear them  :

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra has the best commentary of an ensemble cast of actors on a dvd track that I've ever heard. The actors come across as actually ... likeable.  Listening to it makes you forget that actors are the worst people in the world, except on screen when they are pretending to be other people.  But in real life actors are yeeeeeech!  This DVD has TWO commentaries that are great, both the actor's and the director's tracks are funny as heck- probably because they are the same people.  The movie is great too, a drop dead funny homage to low budget Sci Fi films of the 50's.

Bubba Ho-Tep (Special Edition) Commentary with the King.  Okay this is Bruce Campbell, doing Elvis, doing Bruce Campbell doing Elvis discussing an Elvis impersonator's performance.  ????   Yes, that's what it is, and it's worth the Price of Admission.  Also seeing Ossie Davis portraying JFK is worth it so just get it and Hail to the King, baby.

Conan - The Complete Quest Commentary by John Milius and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everyone knows that the cinematography of this old sword and sorcery flick is amazing, and that it was Schwarzenegger's breakthrough film and that Sandahl Bergman was hot, hot , hot.    But what hardly anyone knows is that Arnie and John Milius together are hilarious.  You also can learn a lot of sword and sorcery movie genre factoids from the commentary and all kinds of neato Nietzchesque philosophy about war and battle and conquering and that the best thing in life is hearing  da lamenations of dare wimmin.

posted by Tom Novak who talked like Elvis for a solid month after hearing Commentary with the King on Bubba Ho-Tep. " Think I'll watch it again, 'scuse me now, while I get me some popcorn, baby."

Diablo ~ the game

I've been building a computer lately, and that reminds me that my favorite game of all time is still the original DIABLO.  Sure hardcore gamers will sneer because the CG is primitive by todays standards.  But when Blizzard came out with it - last century- it was the all the rage.  And, besides, DIABLO plays great on a Win98 laptop and the advanced DIABLO 2 with expansion packs is not only visually stunning it plays great on the worst solid state onboard video on the cheapest XP eMachines.

If you've never played a computer video game, but you've always wanted to find yourself in the middle of a Robert E Howard story fighting Ray Harryhausen monsters and ultimate evil - then you should give it a try.  But start with the original DIABLO because there is nothing like it, and play it at night, in the dark ... because it will scare the hell out of you.

posted by Tom Novak, who just bought property near Tristram... cheap!

Update ~ from november 2005

Darren McGavin is the best Mike Hammer

From 1958 -1960 Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer aired on television, starring The Sudden Curve's favorite actor Darren McGavin in 78 episodes. Of all the guys that have played Mike Hammer over the years (including Micky Spillane hisownself) the only one to really get him right was Darren McGavin.  He plays it as a satire and the show was an instant success.  Man, it's a dirty shame the series isn't available anywhere that I can find.  I'd love to see it.

posted by Tom Novak, who's read an interview about this, and says Lou Wasserman the producer got really mad at McGavin and tried to force him to play Hammer serious and he refused!  All Hail, Darren McGavin.

The Martini Lamp is lit ...

... and so shall ye all be.  Soon.

posted by the creator of the legendary Novak Martini.

We're starting the new year right ~ with Stella (by starlight)

posted by Tom Novak, who's seeing to it that you begin 2007 all ... tingly.

Happy New Year's Eve, pallies, from TSC and Frank and Dean!

posted by Tom Novak who says, crank it - wooooooohoooooooooooo!

Travis McGee turns 32 ... MILLION

That's right kids, 32 miiiillllliion books sold sofar in The Travis McGee Series by TSC's favorite author, the late, great John D. MacDonald - and you can get them all with one click!  twenty-one clicks! Wow, is this a great world or what?

posted by Tom Novak, who already has The Travis McGee Series and says, so should you.

The Best of Metal/Bluegrass Fusion

Van Heffer on iTunes

The Official Site

posted by Tom Novak who especially likes Van Heffer's cover of Black Sabbath's "Paranoid"

DaVinci -schaminski

GOSH, what with all the hoopla going  on at the cinema these days, I find that I must ask you, the movie going public, just why in hog heaven it is that you think you need to go out and see that DaVinci Code Thing when instead you could watch the immortal, show-stopping, medieval song and dance sequence from HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART ONE ?????

Heck, it's the same story ... so EVERYBODY SINGA :

THE INQUISITION:
written by Mel Brooks and Ronny Graham

The Inquisition,
(Lets Begin).

The Inquisition.
(Look out sin).

We have a mission,
to convert the Jeeeeeeew!
(Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew).

Were gonna teach them,
(Wrong from right).
Were gonna help them,
(See the light).
And make an offer that they can't refuse.
(That the Jews just can't refuse).

Confess - Dont be boring!
Say yes - Dont be dull!
A fact you're ignoring is,
it's better to lose your skullcap than your skull!
(Or your gavalt).

The Inquisition, (What a show).
The Inquisition, (Here we go).
We know you're wishing that we'd go away,
but the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay.

The Inquisition,
(Oh boy).
The Inquisition,
(What joy).
The Inquisition ,
(Oi oi).

I was sitting in a chapel,
I was minding my own business,
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.
Then these papus persons plunged in,
and they throw'ed me in a dungeon,
and they shoved a red hot poker up my ass!

Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight.

I'm sittin' flickin' chickens,
and was lookin' through the thickens,
when suddenly these guys break down the walls.
I didn't even know them,
when they grabbed me by the scrotum,
and they started playing Ping Pong with my balls!

Oy the agony!
Oy the Shame!
To make my privates public for a game.

The Inquisition, (What a show).
The Inquisition, (Here we go).
We know you're wishing that we'd go awaaaay,
but the Inquisition's here and it's here to ...

Hey, Torquemada,
what do you say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fe.
Auto-da-fe?
Whats the auto-da-fe?
Its what you oughtn't to do - but you do anyway.

Skit scat doodlebac doodle be bay!

Will you convert?
NO, NO, NOOO, NO!
Will you confess?
NO, NO, NOOO, NO!
Will you revert?
NO, NO, NOOO, NO!
Will you say YES?
NO, NO, NOOO, NO!

Now, I asked in a nice way,
I said pretty please,
then I bent their ears,
now Ill work on the knees.

Hey, Torquemada,
walk this way.
We got a new game you might want to play.
Pull this handle, try your luck.
Who knows, Torque, You might win a buck.

(All right)

Put it in the car.
(In the car, in the car.)

How we doing,
any converts today?
Not a one, Nay, Nay, Nay!

We've flattened their fingers.
We've branded their buns.

Nothing is working, so:

SEND IN THE NUNS!

The Inquisition (What a show).
The Inquisition (Here we go).
We know you're wishing that we'd go awaaaaay.

So... come on all you heathens, and you Jews,
you'd better change your point of views.

'cause the Inquisition's here... and it's here too-oooh staa-aaaaay.

posted by Tom Novak, who says, "Ayup, this post really is the official TSC review of The DaVinci Code movie.  What? You couldn't tell?  Oh and uh, by-the-way  ...  'All Hail Comicus!"

TEAM AMERICA

I don't go to too many movies, and when I do it's because women drag me there to watch nancy-boy Hugh Grant, who to me is one of the ingredients to Hell. The others are Liberace, Richard Simmons and Michael Bolton. I dread the day there is a movie with Grant in it and music by Bolton.

Yet, there is one movie I'm going to see--TEAM AMERICA! Any movie that whacks all bubble-head left-wing F.A.G. actors for the fools they are, and sees through all those crazed nutjobs who thinks America can be the world's policeman, has my vote. I can do without the Loony Left and the Fake Right that is just about all we've got today. Anyone who bashes both of them--especially with those Gerry Anderson-type marionettes--is going to get my money.

Posted by Bob Wallace, who has the hots for GOOD-LOOKING MARIONETTE BABES!

Hellboy :: Strange Places

~  From Mike Mignola's latest work of genius :

posted by Tom Novak, who understand how Red feels, what with that whole Beast of the Apocalypse thing going on and all ...

Stella Stevens T.G.I.F.

posted by Tom Novak who wonders, oh why, oh why, oh why can't every post look like this ...

Hungry for the two Major Breakfast Food Groups?

Goooooooooooooood Moooooorning, Varmint Cong!!  Your order is UP ... 

Well, boys and girls, you may have noticed that things have been a little slow going around The Sudden Curve of late... so it's time for Breakfast on Us for all you loyal minions, myrmidons, mullets and malthusiasts.

Coffee and Donuts -- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!  Now that's good for what hurts.

Yes, yes, many of the extreme, whack-a-mole crazy events of the last few weeks (months, whatever) or so have had their affect, on your beloved TSC Editors @ Large and even on those of us laboring in the strangelovian depths of The Underground Parking and Publishing reinforced concrete bunker and time capsule ... and we thought we were immune. 

Oh Well.

Posted by Tom Novak, who says just keep your "Tsk, Tsking" to yourselves and send insurance adjusters, lawyers, guns and money ... QUICK!

Dan Curtis RIP

Dan Curtis was the force behind the movie - THE NIGHT STALKER, starring our favorite actor, Darren McGavin. Who also recently passed away. Dan Curtis was a salesman for NBC in the 50's and created a popular golf show and he then turned to producing and directing. His fame came from his creation of DARK SHADOWS - the weird and long running daytime vampire soap opera of the 1960s. Which I never really watched much because it had very little appeal to kids. There are a couple of very good Dan Curtis interviews on THE NIGHT STALKER/STRANGLER dvd that givesa lot of insight into creative media and the way things used to work on television when guys like Dan Curtis used to produce shows worth watching. Thanks Dan, we won't forget you.

TEN bucks for the Night Stalker/Strangler DVD? still a deal... so grab it.

posted by Tom Novak, who says it's the end of an era.

St. Paddy's Day movie Pick O' The Irish ~ The Quiet Man

Time to get your Irish up   ...

After reviewing miles of film and consuming pounds of raisinettes, we have reached the conclusion that the best Saint Patrick's Day Movie of all is John Ford's flawless - The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.

Oddly enough, The Quiet Man is also our Favorite Saint Valentine's Day film too.  Hmm.

There are hundreds  of intentionally Irish movies out there in movie-ola-land, but most of them are just weird.  So we like The Quiet Man as a Saint Pat's Day Movie to be awatchin' more than any other o' them others - don'tcha' be knowin', now?

This movie has everything you could ask for in a romantic drama or comedy and less. No need for constant exposition with jabbery dialogue because the richness of the sub-plots, witty supporting characters and gorgeous setting give the viewer the distinct feeling that he's been transported to Ireland and is part of the story.  Wayne and O'Hara are perfect.  Ford tells the simple story so well and richly that the viewer accepts it completely and everafter thinks of Innishfree and White O' Morn with the same longing that Sean Thornton brought with him as he journeyed home from America.

Hopefully, there should be a new DVD of the Quiet Man out any time now, considering that all the other John Wayne Classics are being retransfered.

But until then , make sure that you only get the DVD pictured that says "collectors edition."  There is another nearly identical version that doesn't have a shamrock and is of lesser quality without swell bonuses.  Okay?

Well, then - just shut yer gobs and watch , ya' little squints!

posted by Tom Novak who is in charge of "Cheering like a Protestant"

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow vocalist ~ Jane Monheit

Ya' know, I thought there was something familiar about Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow besides all the great '30s era action/adventure serialized comic-book CGI. 

And it's the song that runs through the credits at the end.  It's the extended version of Over The Rainbow and it's sung by TSC Approved, jazz singer, and total babe, Jane Monheit.  In fact, it's just about become a Signature Song for her.  Kinda like that other old time singer who had a big hit with Over The Rainbow  - Tex Beneke (oh and some other girl singer from some other movie that is coincidentally shown in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow had a hit with it too) yeah, Tex, Tex Beneke! The sax player and vocalist for Glenn Miller.  Sheesh.  Where ya been?

That Jane Monheit can really do swingy-jazzy stuff from 1939 ~ what a year, what a song, what a gal!!!

posted by Tom Novak, who wants to hire Jane to sing Chattanooga Choo Choo to him.  Just once. 

INFECTION ~ the new podcast novel by Scott Sigler ~ is Now Playing

INFECTION EPISODE ONE

The first episode of INFECTION by our favorite podcast novelist, SCOTT SIGLER is now available for download.   And, as promised us by the author -  this one isn't for the faint of ... anything.

And don't forget if you haven't read the paperback version of the very first #1 in the universe podcast novel EARTHCORE ... what are you the heck waiting for?  Do it!

posted by Tom Novak, who knows that most of you won't download these until the final episode, but you could.