The Sudden Curve

Moonbats' '04 Political Navigation Ouija-Board

Swiped from Iowahawk

Let Sleeping Cats Lie

Since the demise of The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes, my favorite cartoonist is Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame.

Here, Adams zeroes in on my favorite activity. Unfortunately--or fortunately, depending on your point of view--my favorite character is the evil Catbert. He's the one I empathize with the most, although I'm taller and his tail is longer.

anime wallpaper update

UPDATE::

This is a very popular post - for some reason- and yes, this is what ROBO put up on the trinitron screen and it looks neat ... so here is a link to where you can find more of these cool anime wallpaper thingees:

The Zane Domain

P.S. - apparently, it's from something listed there called DUAL , but, being old and analog, we aren't completely sure what that means.

A Murder of Scarecrows and a Kingdom of Loathing

And now, for all of us pathetic losers who's stinking obsolete windows boxes embolized on Doom 3,

We Present :

*FREE* and Simple Games for the Poor and Easily Perplexed ::

A Murder of Scarecrows is a fun Flash game from The Skeleton Shop

Update Gamers!!!

Here's a completely different kind of fun game. It's a role-playing game from Asymmetric.net

More Che Moore

Leftists get stupider every year - it's true! We're just pointing it out. It's not our fault.

No matter how bad the neo-cons prove themselves to be, these idiots are worse. Politics today is just a contest to see who can shovel dirt upon American Culture and Civilisation the fastest.

Well, any fence sitters out there on the right in this election year who have any knowledge of genuine recent history seeing this morphing of Fat Bastard and The Ultimate Evil Coward will know just what the left in america today represents. The same thing it's always represented. Doh!

Anyway, thanks for clearing that up once moore for us, Comrades!

Yes you too can get a Che Moore t-shirt from designed by monkeys and wear it around to show how clueless you are. Yep, you can do that, uh-huh ... uhmmm, but why would anyone do it?

"... Mongo not know,

Mongo just pawn in great scheme of life."

Now then, to be "fair and balanced" in tee shirt image advertising ~ for those of you who like your images of Che on the right, we can offer y'all one of these nifty Che Chirts from Allah's Pundit.

You, make the call!

3D Mars Wallpaper

Okay all you Rebels of Mars, looky; you can download your very own
3-D Martian Screensavers.

WoW!

Yes, yes, we know what you are thinking, "big deal, they'll just look fuzzy, and, anyway, I lost the pair of 3-D glasses that I pocketed instead of dropping into the barrel as I exited Captain EO."

Well - head over here and get your *FREE* 3-D Glasses.

They even have clip-ons available for those of us who wear size extra-nerdy.

P.S. - here's where we keep up with the latest spaceliness.

Cowboy 'n' Dinosaurs

All this talk about shooting velociraptors brings to mind that classic of Bad Cinema:

The Valley of Gwangi

The stop-motion magic of Ray Harryhausen is the high point of this sometimes good, sometimes awful cowboys 'n' dinosaurs fantasy-adventure, which pits James Franciscus and Richard Carlson as members of a on-its-last-legs Wild West show, who discover the solution to their problems--a tiny prehistoric horse.  Next thing you know, they're in the Lost Valley of Lost Dinosaurs, where they find the fearsome Gwangi-an allosaur, apparently, that they capture for exhibition (like they could really keep it in that wooden cage).

But as every watcher of Bad Cinema knows, dinosaurs (indeed all monsters) always break free. Soon, the beast Lays Havoc to Everything. A so-so film, but Harryhausen's effects are spectacular, as they always are. As far as I know, this is the only Dinosaur Western ever made. Now if only Clint Eastwood had been in it!

 

Hunting Velociraptors

If velociraptors are so tough, then how come they're extinct and roaches are still around in the zillions? Huh? Huh? Somebody answer that! Okay, I will.  I'll tell you why--they were a bunch of Hugh Grant watchin', Michael Bolton listenin' nancy-boy candy-asses. If there were herds of them still around, I'd put on my Commando Cody flying suit, hover above them and waste them with my Intergalactic Death Ray. BZZZZZZZZT! Dino Burgers. Hey, Commando Cody was a guy who flew to the moon in that suit! You think even a herd of T-Rexes would bother me if I was dressed like him? Hah! I don't think so.

   
         

'Raptor Safari

TWO DOLLARS and SEVENTY FIVE CENTS!!! Wow, what a deal .... Yes, kids, read Time Safari - and you too can learn how to deal with predators the way the editors@large of The Sudden Curve do. And - you'll be glad you did when you find yourselves portaled somewheres or other in time, space or archipelago.

Meditations on Velociraptor Hunting

"Shhhhhhh. Be vewy vewy quai-it. We're hunting Waptors!" Hmmm... if you are going to be hunting 'raptors, it occurs to us that first, you'd better be appropriately prepared - philosophically, as well as correctly equipped in the field. And there is really only one way to get philosophical on these velocipunktors and that's by reading Jose Ortega' Y Gasset's immortal Meditations on Hunting. This is another case of out-of-print travesty. Want a copy of Ortega? Well, the sissy-mary outdoor sports publishing industry has made certain that you'll take a soaking to get one. Do it anyway - you'll be glad you did. Especially when it's time to GRILL! Mmmmmmm, barbeque'd briskette a' 'raptor... and yup, we bet it does taste like chicken!

"You'll Shoot Yer, Uh, Velociraptor's Eye Out, Kid"

   
         

The only thing I need to knock a velociraptor's eyeball right out of his scaly head is a Red Ryder BB gun, the kind Ralphie used to bump off the bad guys threatening his family in A Christmas Story. Okay, so maybe the villains were Ralphie's fantasy, but the Red Ryder BB gun is the only thing anyone needs to take out any number of dinosaurs. T-Rex? Bah! Child's play for this little baby. Who needs one of those rotary guns what like Neo used in The Matrix? If he would have had this beauty, those Agents wouldn't have stood a chance! All dinosaurs tremble at the very mention of the dreaded Red Ryder!

(~  note to all editors @ large .... Hey! Don't forget on your way to Raptor Island to bring along your Saunders' Wrist Rockets for back-up and remember to pack some lawn darts. We'll teach those punk-ass velociraptors what happens if they mess with Burroughs' Tradition baby-boomers. Oh, and don't forget a few packs of these. )

Velociraptor Busters

Oh my!  Thanks to the Raptor Island post below, there is controversy raging at the TSC underground bunker and worm farm over just what one should take into the field if one suspects that they have suddenly portaled into a *DIN0-VISION* spectacular.   And yes, it is a difficult problem.  The main controversy seems not to be the classical, firepower vs. stopping power arguementums, but the fact that  NO ONE expects the spanish inquisi ...,  errr, uhmm no one expects velociraptors.  So ...  no one seems to be ready to deal with them when they show up - despite the tracks and the blood and the mysterious disappearences among the character ensemble - yeah, like these nitwits have never seen Jurassic park.  And, to make matters worse, the only people who have the right equipment always seem to be gung-ho paramilitary or black ops types who ALWAYS get chomped early on.

Well, we've concluded that if you want to survive Raptor Island you've got to give the appearence that you aren't expecting anything out of the ordinary and your choice of the right tool for the job boils down to one of these quaint Victorian age devices:

Now, to continue ... based only on what we've observed from CGI generated movie 'raptor behavior, they hunt in small packs and sneak up on you and distract you and then rush you at the last moment .  Yikes!! But they don't look very thick-skinned or all that steady on their feet,  and let's face it - mammals are faster than reptiles, birds or amphibians so we are faster than these damn bird-hipped lizards too, and so,  a mighty 45-70 government cartridge chambered Marlin Guide Gun should do the trick in knocking them down.  Plus the short barrel will let you swing around and blast the ones on your flanks .  As for firepower, you can reload quickly enough with a lever-action rifle to get second shots on all the beasties as needed and, most importantly, equiped with this ho-hum, old, mule-deer season carbine you'll not attract the attention of any screenplay writers who delight in eliminating characters who trust too much in whiz-bang, state of the art military hardware.

For your own Velociraptor Buster, check out the ffine ffolks at Marlin

Raptor Island banner - update

Well, unlike those pathetic, single-dimensional people marooned on Raptor Island  it only took us about 35 minutes to escape from there.  Yeeeeesh!  What a show.  Anyhoo, this is typical of why we have a love-hate/ divorce-reconciliation relationship with the SciFi Channel. 

Do they even have producers who read these scripts BEFORE they get on the air???? Yeah, yeah, yeah - dinosaurs are big and mean and tough and all but, come- on, they aren't meaner and tougher than bullets.  Jeepers, how many zillion times do you have to shoot a velociraptor before it falls over dead anyway? And I suppose they don't feel it while they are being shot up with five magazine loads of NATO rounds?  Shoot a thirty foot Nile crocodile once in the head and it's dead on the spot - go figure, and, note to the Sci-Fi channel, crocodiles survived and dinosaurs didn't so who's tougher, hmmmmm.? 

Oh well, all of this may have been explained 38 minutes into the photoplay and we hit the remote just a little too early, but, this is why we like to read old books - their author's had a clue.

   
          

Wide Open Spaces

I don't like country music, but I have two country CDs that I just love--Deana Carter's Did I Shave My Legs for This?



... and the Dixie Chicks' Wide Open Spaces. I don't know how many people bash them because they don't like Bush and are against the war. I like them. I'm listening to them as I type this.

I especially like the fat one in the middle!

And I like the lyrics to "Am I the Only One?"

There is no good reason
I should have to be so alone
I'm smothered by this emptiness
Lord I wish I was made of stone
Like a fool I lent my soul to love
And it paid me back in change
God help me am I the only one
Who's ever felt this way?
A heart that's worn and weathered
Would know better than to fight
But I wore mine like a weapon
Played out love like a crime
And it wrung me out and strung me out
And it hung years on my face
God help me, am I the only
Who's ever felt this way?
Now my sense of humor needs a break
I see a shadow in the mirror
And she's laughin' through her tears
One more smile's all I can fake
There is a wound inside me
And it's bleeding like a flood
There are times when I see a light ahead
Hope is not enough
As another night surrounds me
And it pounds me like a wave
God help me, am I the only only one
Who's ever felt this way?

posted by Bob Wallace , who does the Chubby Girl Dance every chance he gets.

Won't Get Fooled Again

I have seen the Who one time, on my 15th birthday. It was at the now-defunct Mississippi River Festival, at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. To my delight I found this photo on the Internet. I'm not in it, being off to the left out of the camera shot. Thank God for the Internet. I thought I would never find a photo of that, the best concert I've been to in my life...along with the other 34,000 people there.

posted by Bob Wallace , who no longer GETS FOOLED AGAIN.

They Don't Make 'em Like This Anymore

I miss Sam Kinnison. Sure, he was grossly obscene, vulgar, shockingly cruel, sometimes blasphemous, and outrageously offensive, but he was also very, very funny, to the point you'd have tears coming out of your eyes. Here's an sample of his stuff:

On homelessness...

You give 'em the test. You sit 'em down and you go "Eh, you got any job skills, any career training? Any type of talent for anything that'll help you get a job?"

"No"

"Do you have any loved ones, do you have any friends, someone who'll love you enough to take you in, help you get back on your feet, help you fight back?"

"No"

"Is there anything left inside of you as a man that wants to get on his two feet and do something to change his world?"

"No"

*** BOOM *** I swear to God, the guy behind him is going to go,

"Woah, woah, woah, My God, you're shooting the homeless!....Ok, I'm homeless, I don't have a job. I may have set my career goals a little too high. All right, all right. I was holding out for an executive position. That doesn't look like it's going to happen. Give me a couple of hours, I'll get a paper route, I'll get something. I'll get a job where I take the carts back to the grocery store, don't shoot me!"

The homeless will disappear; that'll be one less problem for America!

One of my favorite comments by him is how he answered an interviewer who asked how Kinnison, a former preacher, could say the things he did as a comedian. He answered, "Hey, I've read the Bible. I know how it ends. It's not like if someone's car is going off a cliff they start yelling 'Oh, Satan, please save me'. No, I figure I'm still pretty good with God."

I've always thought he was, too.

posted by Bob Wallace , who does the SAM KINNISON ANTI-PC DANCE all the time.

Thunderbirds are NO!

Oh that reminds me, a while ago, I had to sit through the previews for the new full length feature Thunderbirds movie, Bleeeeech!! I mean, what's the point really?

In the sixties we liked the Thunderbirds, and no we didn't think the stupid puppets were cool - we thought they looked fakey as heck as they pranced around like they were goofy or something. But the stories were great, and the Tracey boys got to fly rocket ships and supersonic planes and race boats and cars and fight bad guys and between times they were always smoking, drinking and chasing skirt. That was cool! Thunderbirds wasn't a kid's show. They are still fun to watch... and the original series and the two films are more popular in syndication than ever.

Now out comes this PC, remake, live action, kid's movie, piece of cra... aah, aaaw- forget it. We hated kid's movies when we were kids, why do they still even make the crummy things?

Gerry Anderson, the creator of Thunderbirds wants one thing to be very clear about the new movie - that he had NOTHING to do with it. Here's the interview.

We suggest, try these instead - you'll be glad you did!

posted by Tortuga Tommy, editor who want's his flying jet pack - where are all the jet packs they promised we'd have by now? Damnit!!!

The Late, Great Erik

Unfortunately, I never got to meet the man, but he lives on in his books, especially his amazing Leftism Revisited. I was lucky enough to get a copy when it first came out. Now, they cost $80 for a used hardback. People have told me the Conservative Book Club used to give copies away for free when people joined. Had I know that, I would have joined just to get the book. I wish I had bought several copies. The one I have still has the dustjacket, but the pages do show the wear of a book read dozens of times. And I still read it, because there is something new in it I missed the first 20 times I read it.

posted by Bob Wallace , who does the ANTI-LEFTIST DANCE every day of his life.

Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddin

Darn that Bob Wallace! Now he's got ROBO reading Kuehnelt-Leddihn. First the neutronic ninny declared democracy dead, and himself as a natural aristocratic member of the oligarchy. And then he hid his remote. And now he's got a fencing foil and is running around the office doing the robo-sapien, light-sabre dance. Geezum! What a racket. And he won't run down for a long time because he's on lithium (rechargeable AA's too). Just how are we going to get any work done today, hmmmmmmm?

Oh well, could be worse - he could be reading Atlas Shrugged! Oh - the letters we'd get!

R.I.P. ~ Elmer Bernstein

Oh, and we should point out that Elmer Bernstein also wrote the musical score for this little known movie as well as those classics above: