I miss Sam Kinnison. Sure, he was grossly obscene, vulgar, shockingly cruel, sometimes blasphemous, and outrageously offensive, but he was also very, very funny, to the point you'd have tears coming out of your eyes. Here's an sample of his stuff:
On homelessness...
You give 'em the test. You sit 'em down and you go "Eh, you got any job skills, any career training? Any type of talent for anything that'll help you get a job?"
"No"
"Do you have any loved ones, do you have any friends, someone who'll love you enough to take you in, help you get back on your feet, help you fight back?"
"No"
"Is there anything left inside of you as a man that wants to get on his two feet and do something to change his world?"
"No"
*** BOOM *** I swear to God, the guy behind him is going to go,
"Woah, woah, woah, My God, you're shooting the homeless!....Ok, I'm homeless, I don't have a job. I may have set my career goals a little too high. All right, all right. I was holding out for an executive position. That doesn't look like it's going to happen. Give me a couple of hours, I'll get a paper route, I'll get something. I'll get a job where I take the carts back to the grocery store, don't shoot me!"
The homeless will disappear; that'll be one less problem for America!
One of my favorite comments by him is how he answered an interviewer who asked how Kinnison, a former preacher, could say the things he did as a comedian. He answered, "Hey, I've read the Bible. I know how it ends. It's not like if someone's car is going off a cliff they start yelling 'Oh, Satan, please save me'. No, I figure I'm still pretty good with God."
I've always thought he was, too.
posted by Bob Wallace , who does the SAM KINNISON ANTI-PC DANCE all the time.
Recent Comments