The Sudden Curve

The marvel of the age!

When I was six or seven years old, I found a flat piece of wood, maybe two feet wide and four feet long, and somehow attached an old car steering wheel to it. I’d sit on it, flat on the back lawn, and pretend it was Supercar and I was pilot Mike Mercury.

Launched in 1959-60 and broadcast in glorious black and white, Gerry Anderson’s Supercar was the first of his many “supermarionation” puppet TV shows, predating the more famous Thunderbirds by several years. Supercar was truly a boy’s dream — a combination car/boat/plane/rocket that seemed able to do anything. And way back in the early ’60s, I marveled whenever Mike Mercury would check the vehicle’s systems before each launch, engaging each engine in turn...9,000, 12,000, 15,000 rpm. Once the “interlock” was fully engaged, Mercury would press the “fire” button, each engine would ignite, the roof doors to the Nevada desert laboratory would open, and Supercar would rise vertically into the sky and off to a new adventure in a jungle, or into outer space, or into the Arctic. Whew.

Sure, the series had problems. I loved Mike, Supercar co-inventors Professor Popkiss and Doctor Beaker, and the villainous Masterspy and his assistant Zarin, but I detested ten-year-old, overly effeminate Jimmy and his friggin’ monkey Mitch, who played bigger roles in the series than I liked. And looking back now more than 40 years, the “marionation” really sucked. But none of this detracted from “the marvel of the age,” Supercar itself. Great theme song, too.

All 39 Supercar adventures are available in one, big DVD package. It’s the only Anderson series I care enough about to own.

Posted by Wally Conger, whose most exotic car was a used 1972 Mercury Capri; he entirely blew out its engine in spring 1978.

Zombies 2nite? - it's All Souls Day on Sci fi

Could be that the Sci Fi channel's string of recent hits will be extended tonight at 9 pm EST with  All Souls Day.

It's a ZOMBIE FLICK!  Yes. 

And not only that, it's a Zombies in Mexico Flick.  And not only, not only that ... but it stars, David Keith. 

Over the years we've learned that if  David Keith is in a made-for- B-tv- movie on the Sci Fi Channel it's always worth watching.  Of course, as usual, there is nothing at Sci Fi Dot Com that even hints at what the heck this is all about and why.  However, that inandofitself doesn't mean diddly one way or the other.

posted by fluent in zombie in four languages,  Tom Novak,  who says,  " Urrrrrrrr, El Braaaaaindidos."

The coolness of Samurai Jack

Is there anything cooler than an ancient samurai blasted far into the future by a Pure Evil sorcerer? Is there anything more thrilling than watching the world's greatest samurai slashing and chopping his way through robots of every shape and size? Is there anything funnier than watching that same samurai hunt for the source of a village's horrible stench, or search for the perfect pair of Birkenstocks? Is there anything better than Samurai Jack?

Not much. When Jack debuted on Cartoon Network about four years ago, I watched it as often as I could find it (and I never could keep up with Cartoon Network's everchanging schedule). Well, now I own the first two seasons of Samurai Jack on DVD (26 shows, with just 26 more to go!), and what a terrific time I'm having! Kurosawa meets Power Puff Girls!

Go, Jack, go!

Posted by Wally Conger, who believes Samurai Jack could kick Toshiro Mufune's butt any day of the week.

Morena Baccarin, Space Babe

Wally Conger says Kaylee (Jewel Staite) is "the most adorable crewmember of the Serenity spaceship" from the Firefly series.

I don't like to disagree with Wally about Firefly, since it was his Xmas recommendations which led me to ask for the DVD set that year and subsequently made me a Firefly fan.

So I won't disagree and I'd be happy to have Kaylee work on my Caravan when she's done with the transmission on Wally's Accord.

However, I submit that Inara (Morena Baccarin) is also a super Space Babe and if Kaylee is the most "adorable" then Inara is the most companionable.

Posted by Tom Ender, who impatiently awaits the coming Firefly movie: Serenity.

The Fallen Ones ~ UPDATE

UPDATE ~  Well, allllright!  The Fallen Ones isn't terrible after all.  For Sci Fi channel. So all you west coasties,  ignore those first fifteen minutes that make no sense at all anyway,  and the CGI is lame until the end, but the rest of the time the supporting cast is great and there is plenty of worthwhile stuff going on.  And, uh, the babe is cute too.

Ho'kay, so also on the teevee tonight on the Sci-Fi channel is a movie called The Fallen Ones.  Ordinarily we'd be all aquiver at the prospect of watching a forty-two foot tall, devil-spawned mummy rampaging across the desertscape ... but, we've been down this road before with those Sci-Fi channel people. 

I'm not saying positively that if you tune in at 9:00pm EST to this original MP that it definitely will really, completely, totally suckwhopperass - however when no one overthere even bothers to spend five minutes photoshopping an image of a frikkin' forty-two foot tall mummy into the online advertisement for it on their own website - weeeell, you know.

And it's not like we're gonna get to watch 50 foot tall Space Babe, Allison Hayes rampaging across the desertscape tonight for an hour in this thing either.

Of course, you never know. We could be pleasantly surprised by another Puppetmaster vs Demonic Toys, or a Epoch, or a Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness or even a Sabretooth.   So what the heck, let's be optimistic.

posted by Tom Novak, who says pass the junior mints and, "sorry, kids, but we are saving the quality file photos of Allison for the subscription only TSC website.    Woooba, Woooba Wooooo!

Ten Things I Hate About Star Trek

I got this through my email. I have no idea who wrote it.

10. Noisy doors.

You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or
screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding doors.
They're dead silent. If those doors went "wheet!" every time a person
walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would
snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked
your membership until you learn to master WD-40.

9. The Federation.

This organization creeps me out. A planet-wide government that runs
everything, and that has abolished money. A veritable planetary DMV. Oh
sure, it looks like a cool place when you're rocketing around in a
Federation Starship, but I wonder how the guy driving a Federation dump
truck feels about it?

And everyone has to wear those spandex uniforms. Here's an important
fact: Most people, you don't want to see them in spandex. You'd pay good
money to not have to see them. If money hadn't been abolished, that is.
So you're screwed.

8. Reversing the polarity.

For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the polarity of everything! It
might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. I have
it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that.
Every time the Enterprise comes in for its 10,000 hour checkup, they've
gotta go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. "What happened to
the toilet in Stateroom 3?" "Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi
thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity."

Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity
reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously
explode whenever they put the juice to it.

7. Seatbelts.

Yeah, I know this one is overdone, but you'd think that the first time
an explosion caused the guy at the nav station to fly over the captain's
head with a good 8 feet of clearance, someone would say, "You know, we
might think of inventing some furutistic restraining device to prevent
that from happening." So of course, they did make something like that
for the second Enterprise (the first one blew up due to poor
lubrication), but what was it? A hard plastic thing that's locked over
your thighs. Oh, I'll bet THAT feels good in the corners. "Hey look! The
leg-bars worked as advertised! There goes Kirk's torso!"

6. No fuses.

Every time there's a power surge on the Enterprise the various stations
and consoles explode in a shower of sparks and throw their seatbelt-less
operators over Picard's head. If we could get Giordi to stop reversing
the polarity for a minute, we could get him to go shopping at the
nearest Starship parts store and pick up a few fuses. And while he's
shopping, he could stop at an intergalactic IKEA and pick up a few
chairs for the bridge personnel. If you're going to put me in front of a
fuseless exploding console all day, the least you could do is let me sit
down.

5. Rule by committee.

Here's the difference between Star Trek and the best SF show on TV last
year:

Star Trek:

Picard: "Arm photon torpedoes!"
Riker: "Captain! Are you sure that's wise?"
Troi: "Captain! I'm picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it
appears that you're a 'fraidy cat."
Wesley: "Captain, I'm just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say
something."
Worf: "Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon
warrior chubby."
Giordi: "Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them first."
Picard: "I'm so confused. I'm going to go to my stateroom and look
pensive."

Firefly:

Captain: "Let's shoot them."
Crewman: "Are you sure that's wise?"
Captain: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I'll
BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who's in command."
Crewman: "Aye Aye, sir!"

4. A Star Trek quiz:

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and 'Ensign Smith' beam down to a planet. Which one
isn't coming back?

3. Technobabble.

The other night, I couldn't get my car to start. I solved the problem by
reversing the polarity of the car battery, and routing the power through
my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the
space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunnelling effect that
charged the protons in the engine core, thus starting my car. Child's
play, really. As a happy side-effect, I also now get the Spice Channel
for free.

2. The Holodeck.

I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe that people would
use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come
on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know
what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the
holodeck clean.

1. The Prime Directive.

How stupid is this? Remember when Marvin the Martian was going to blow
up the Earth, because it obstructed his view of Venus? And how Bugs
Bunny stopped him by stealing the Illudium Q36 Space Modulator? Well, in
the Star Trek universe, Bugs would be doing time. Probably in a room
filled with Roseanne lookalikes wearing spandex uniforms, walking
through doors going WHEET! all day. It would be hell. At least until the
Kaboom. The Earth-shattering Kaboom!

Posted by Bob Wallace, who's bedroom slippers look suspiciously like skinned-out tribbles.

Some Big Guys

She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed has two brothers, one 6'6", 300 lbs, the other 6'8", 320 lbs. I am reminded of Ted Cassidy, who played Lurch on the TV program, Addams Family. Cassidy also appeared in some episodes of Star Trek, and was a bit actor in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Heck, if I was that size, I'd be in films myself.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO'S ONLY SIX FEET TALL.

The Underrated David McCallum

David McCallum (that there blond guy in the picture below keeping Fluffy at bay with what appears to be a Walther PPK) is an underrated actor mostly known for appearing in The Man from U.N.C.LE. Before that, he was in a few limits of the original Outer Limits, the most famous episode probably being "The Sixth Finger," in which he played that bulb-headed Future Man guy.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO ALWAYS LIKED MCCALLUM BETTER THAN ROBERT VAUGHN.

Danger! Will Robinson! Danger!

I actually have a model of this robot. I don't like him as much as Robby (and I have a model of Robby, too) but when his batteries are working he says, "Danger! Will Robinson! Danger!" Robby's not that advanced. He just sits there, next to my Betty Boop clock. The batteries aren't working in her, either. Oh, well.

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO WANTS A SHARK WITH A FRICKING LASER BEAM ON ITS HEAD.

Ki-Who-A-Who-As and Turkeys

Les Nessman and his mangled pronounciation of "chihuahua" isn't the only thing I remember about WKRP. There was also the episode where turkeys were thrown out of helicopters to a waiting crowd. They were supposed to fly down to everyone. Turned out turkeys can't fly, and hit the ground like sacks of cement, while everyone screamed and ran for cover. The last line of the program was from the late Gordon Jump, who said, "As God as my witness, I didn't know turkeys couldn't fly."

Posted by Bob Wallace, WHO LIKES HIS TURKEYS WINGLESS, HEADLESS AND LIFELESS.

Chupacabra Banner

Stalwart  star John Rhys-Davies is showing up again tonight on Sci-Fi in ; Chupacabra :: Dark Seas. Attaboy!  Great to see a bankable movie actor who's willing to take roles in films that we may actually like - not to mention roles in films we'll bother to see.  Like this one tonight. So, what is it all about?  I guess it's about a monster that gets loose on a ship and starts chomping, of course. What else could it be about??

Cool.  But it all seems strangely familiar. Monster -mutilate,  Maaawnster - Meeeewtilate ...  hmmmm. 

Oh, well.

Posted by Tortuga Tommy, who will be watching and who knows a few things about monstrous happenings on ships, by golly.

Upon review, it had been revealed that, upon review, it was revealed to have been just another week - upon review.

R.I.P. Mister Latenight

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's to you, Johnny.

Thanks pal.  We'll see you again behind the big desk soon enough  ... but only after we reach the Slausen Cut Off, get out - cut off our slausens and take our places on the couch in the sky. 

Meditations on the Pressidental Inaugyation

Whoops.  Sorry.  Gee-Darn.  Missed the whole durn thing.  Didn't catch a single word from the Potomac pols or their pet jurn-hole-ists.  Like I missed something, not.   And I was invited!

Oh well, all isn't lost.  If there is anyone of us still interested in watching PARASITES at work-  well it looks like Sci-Fi is going to oblige us with an interesting original film tonight called Larva.

We'll be anxiously tuning in to see if these Larva thingees are near as bad as those others ... of course, tonights parasites are fictional.

posted by tom novak, who, despite himself, is always on the A-list for all the Reptile's Cotillians.

Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys banner

Yeah,  NOW FINALLY something original that looks like it might be good is on the  Sci Fi channel again.  This is more our style anyday:

See,  Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys  (great title) has the completely bionically re-engineered from the insteps up, Vanessa Angel starring in it.   She's always good  great terrific, especially when she's playing a bad guy/monster.  And just look at that scary demon - puppet - red devil - toy thing, willya?  They aren't really telling us anything about the plot but this has to be good.  Those evil puppets (wait a minute - the puppets weren't evil last time we saw them) and demonic toys will be  animatronic we hope.  That's spookier than CGI. If we are lucky, it might even have been filmed in the Magic of Skeletorama. 

~UPDATE ~ YES!  Good job, and it was a tender Christmas Story too.  Now we're talking cheesy sci-fi the way it's supposed to be.  None of that social conscious BS.  We are happily awarding Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys  a coveted one animala out of a possible three.  Or maybe it's a one out of  two,  or four  - we haven't quite got the Dance the Animala scale worked out yet ...  but Congratulations to Cast and Crew and Puppets and Toys.

Earthsea in Clorox

Waytogo, Ursula !!  Stick up for your artistic vision-thing  getting all trashed out by those hollywood slimeballs. Here is her take on that latest sci-fi-asco.

Don't worry, fans,  the supreme uber junker has already written a photoplay for the Earthsea Trilogy that will wow you.  And to make everyone happy, we'll use illegal immigrant Mexicans as actors.  Heck, they're already tan enough to  look  like they're from an equatorial  archipelago  -  and they work long hours on the cheap!  All we need now is to get del Toro to direct ... anyone got his number in Prague?

Here's the SUJ's  working title for the first draft ~ A Wetback of  Earthsea.   To be followed by ~  The Tombs of Azatlan. 

What?

Earthsea on Sci-fi tonight ~ Update

Well, well, well ... for the last few months we've been wondering howscome Sci Fi has been so niggardly with the promotional images for their previews and original features.  So now we know.  They blew the whole nine-yards creationing this entire ginormous, interactive movie site for the  airing of Legend of Earthsea.

Gee, they could have told us.  Although, admittedly, we've been on their ignore list ever since the Raptor Island fiasco. 

Now, to get to the story,  it's about a kid who becomes a wizard and saves the world.  There.   Okay, there is a little more to it than that. But you'll probably have to read the books to get it.  And, it just so happens that this editor did read the original trilogy by sci-fi master Ursula K. LeGuin upon publication  in paperback in the early '70's.  Which is also why this editor never bothered with the Harry Potter stories.  That entire billion-dollar, mega-hit  Harry Potter film and publishing industy is just the lightweight version of a couple of chapters from A Wizard of Earthsea (about Ged's education and encounter with evil).  But it does go to show what good marketing can do for you these days.

It will be interesting to see how Scifi. deals with LeGuin's complicated and detailed questions of moral philosophy.  Probably they'll blow it all off for fart jokes and some CGI spookies.  Danny Glover is in it - so we are expecting a whole lof of PC nonsense... but, we'll seee.

UPDATE ~ YIKES! The Curse of Raptor Island strikes again. 

Let's see, guys, we have this multiple Hugo and Nebula award wining story so ... uhmm, hey,  I know - we'll butcher the plot completely, present it totally out of sequence and turn everything so topsy turvy it becomes incomprehensible

We're wondering if anyone bothered to mention to Isabella Rosellini that she was playing a bad guy?.  Of course, it wasn't a total loss.  We got to see Amanda Tapping ( woof! ) for 3 seconds before she turned into a shadow, devil-bat, monster, and that was a cool  zombie on the skateboard in the forest chasing Ged (btw - his true name is GED, not sparrowhawk.  Duh- like that's not important?)  Oh nevermind.  39 minutes into the photoplay we were wishing for a few good fart jokes.  And it's not over there's more to come.  Maybe they will fix it. P.S - the books are really good great.  Honest.

The miniseries (sofar) well : Aaach, Blech, Gaaak!

Posted by tom novak, editor who asks don't they have anyone at that channel who knows how to flush a toilet produce a script?

Anonymous Rex Thumbnail

Okay... so, uh where is the velociraptor???

Usually we put up a banner when there is an interesting new Sci-Fi original airing so that everyone can catch it, but gee, they really slacked off on the production of this one dint they? 

Guess we will just have to watch to find out what it looks like (hmnmm, maybe they planned it that way).  For anyone interested, the storyline here goes that all the dinosaurs didn't die out millions of years ago from a meteor strike, or ice age or plague or whatever after all.  They've been alive and evolving into sentient beings all this time.  SURPRISE!!! Actually this isn't so unusual.  Both in the Burrough's Tradition and the Cthulhu Mythos comes the notion that there were reptile-men competing with hominids way back when and that they fought wars in pre-history with people wining out, eventually.  They even had civilisations and cities and high-technology -of a snakey variety.  In pulp fiction, the  reptile people always manage to live down through the ages and into modern times and they keep some territory too.  In out of the way places, usually,  like in the deepest jungles and highest plateaus and within the hollow earth and if you travel to these far away and spooky places you can still find, and be found by, them.  Kudos to best selling author Eric Garcia for making this idea work in print with some new twists.

A velociratpror P.I?  WTF?  Well - we'll just have to see how it comes off on Cable

Apple releases cool Robot Spy iPod

Wait - this isn't supposed to be a Robot Spy iPod?

Well, you sure could have fooled us!

(robot spy art by Lance Falk)

Gargoyles :: Wings of Darkness banner

Tonight on Sci Fi ::

Wings of Darkness??? Uh HUH - surrrrrrre. In our experience the gargoyle will probably turn out to be Deitrich, once Norway's most famous acrobatic dwarf in a gargoyle costume and not the real thing atall. Or maybe a 60's era, x- NFL player in heavy makeup. Or just another dream sequence that is within another dream sequence within anoth ...

Oh, okay, okay we'll reserve judgement for now. We do kind of like the crossbow action. But after that miserably disappointing Raptor Island fiasco we aren't letting the Sci-fi channel off the hook and back into our good graces no matter how they beg us in advance for a good review ( or unless they send Amanda Tapping to ask nicely. WOOF! ).