The Sudden Curve

South Park Wally

Yes, it's me as a new resident of South Park! I recreated myself as a South Park cartoon character at this very cool site. And the likeness is, well, remarkable. Try it!

Posted by Wally Conger, who'd someday like to be Crusader Rabbit.

Armed & Dangerous Babe :: Lindsay Lohan

It's kinda sad, but troubled Lindsay Lohan -- in and out of rehab again and again -- seems to actually THINK that she qualifies as a TSC Armed & Dangerous Babe. Ah, well... Armed and dangerous or not, I think Lindsay's still cute enough to appear in our patheon of babes.

Posted by Wally Conger, who's seen the Parent Trap remake about a dozen times.

Yes, it's elementary!

[Cross-posted at out of step]

For more than 20 years, I’ve had this vintage, full-page, 1946 magazine advertisement for Chesterfield Cigarettes framed and hanging on a wall in my home office. Since I’m a hardcore Sherlockian, my original motive in buying it at an antique show was, well, it’s friggin’ Basil Rathbone fer crissakes, and the ad even refers to Universal Pictures’ then-new Sherlock Holmes movie, Dressed to Kill. But as the years have passed, and smoking becomes more and more “forbidden,” the advertisement’s taken on a special glamour that really appeals to me. I love it. And no, it’s not for sale.

Posted by Wally Conger, who thinks the game is always afoot!

Smokin' Babe :: Lucy Pinder

British model and Internet hottie Lucy Pinder. As Freud used to say, "Sometimes a cigar is, well, just a cigar!"

Posted by Wally Conger, who desperately needs a smoke.

Armed & Dangerous Babe :: Tammy Bruce

I've had a "thing" for lesbian feminist liberal-turned-conservative author (The New Thought Police, The New American Revolution) and radio talk show host Tammy Bruce for well over a decade, ever since I first started listening to her on KFI radio in Los Angeles (she's now syndicated from KABC in L.A.). Politically, Tammy calls herself a "classical liberal" (i.e., libertarian), but she's much too conservative for my taste. But Tammy's soooooo politically incorrect during this horrible Era of Political Correctness -- and she's just so friggin' CUTE -- that I can't resist her.

And this photo of Tammy, which now graces her official website, is a fine example of why I'm so crazy about her. Tammy, armed with her .38 snubnose Smith & Wesson, affectionately named "Snuffy Bruce," writes: "A Chick with a Gun and a Microphone. Yes, the two things that make the establishment the most upset. Well, three things if you include the chick." She adds: "There has been some controversy over the fact that I have my finger on Snuffy's trigger. Yes, I know that it is politically incorrect firearm etiquette, but this is a photo and I wanted it this way for the dramatic impact. It's that simple. It's a portrait, not an instructional photograph."

Read more about Tammy and her pal Snuffy right here.

Posted by Wally Conger, who'd "go lesbian" if that were a possibility, just to spend some quality time with Tammy Bruce.

Armed & Dangerous Chicks

Smokin' Babe :: Pink

She's hot, she rocks, and she SMOKES!

Posted by middle-aged Wally Conger, who admits to owning one Pink CD and lovin' it!

Armed & Dangerous Babe :: 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub

Smokin' Babe :: Michelle Pfeiffer

The only real reason to watch De Palma's Scarface.

Smokin' Babe :: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Last night, I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal, older sister of 2006 Oscar nominee Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain), in the new comedy Stranger Than Fiction. I'd seen her before and liked her, but she's cute as a button in this Will Farrell vehicle, and I urge you all to take a look. In the meantime, get a load of Maggie playing a first-rate Smokin' Babe!

Posted by Wally Conger, a NEW Maggie Gyllenhaal fan!

Smokin' Babe :: Angelina Jolie

Maybe it's not Angie at her most appealing, but hey, imagine her sharing a smoke with you back in high school, behind the gym. Yum!

Posted by Wally Conger, who thinks Ms. Jolie will make a dynamite Dagny Taggart in the upcoming Atlas Shrugged movie. And he doesn't care what anybody else thinks about it.

Amazing Grace

Tom's post about Music Video Babe Grace Slick got me all tingly. You see, when I was 15 or 16 years old, I was mad crazy insanely in love with the Voice That Launched A Thousand Trips, Gracie Slick. I had, of course, every Airplane LP and bootleg I could get my hands on, plus my bedroom was stacked with every rock 'n roll magazine that ran a photo, no matter how small, of Grace. It wasn't until the Airplane had turned Starship, though, that I saw Grace live on stage, at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in 1973. Then I probably saw Jefferson Starship another six or seven times between 1974 and 1977. Anyway, I offer here some of my favorite Grace Slick photographs. Gawd, she was gorgeous!

Posted by Wally Conger, who envied Paul Kantner for several years.

The Worst of Jefferson Airplane

Smokin' Babe :: Uma Thurman

Where, oh where?

In a box somewhere in a closet or maybe the garage (properly "bagged," I hope), I have a copy of this 1964 (or was it '65?) first-ever issue of Warren Publications' terrific Creepy magazine. Jeez, I bought the damn thing 40 years ago, when I was just 10 or 11, and even then, I knew I had a treasure on my hands. Black and white comic stories illustrated by the likes of Frank Frazetta and Wally Wood -- absolutely the best horror stuff ever! If I can find my copy of this first issue, I'll bet it's so thumbed through and ragged that it'll only sell for pennies on eBay. But hey...I'm not sure I'd part with it once I got my hands on it again! Remember the "host" of the mag, Uncle Creepy? He's the guy seated and holding the magazine on this cover. Great, great stuff!

Posted by Wally Conger, who still loves the old scary stuff.

Smokin' Babe :: Eva Habermann

A Sudden Curve double-header! Eva Habermann not only looks great with a semi-auto, she looks awful good with a smoke in her hand as well! Hubba hubba!

Posted by Wally Conger, who's becoming a big fan of Eva Habermann, even though he's never seen her in movies or on TV.

Armed & Dangerous Babe :: Eva Habermann

I've tried to locate some info on where this photo originated. No luck. But this is German actress Eva Habermann, and I don't care that much about where the photo comes from -- Eva looks great with a firearm, doesn't she?

I do know this: Eva appeared in the first season of the sci-fi TV series Lexx, which used to be broadcast on the SciFi Channel. And this pic definitely did not come from there.

Posted by Wally Conger, who still can't resist the ladies with the guns.

Smokin' Babe :: Virginia Madsen

Posted by Wally Conger, who'd like to see Virginia Madsen smoke 'em...er...Sideways.

Smokin' Babe :: Jessica Steen

I've only watched three or four episodes of the TV series NCIS, and those only from season one on DVD, but I recently took special note of a particularly appealing actress in one of those episodes and found out with a little research that she's appeared in several NCIS episodes, and she's had quite a TV and movie career altogether. Jessica Steen has appeared in such TV shows as Monk, Nip/Tuck, Stargate SG-1, The Outer Limits, and The Pretender...plus she was in the movie Armageddon. But here's the really neat part: during my search online for things Jessica, I came across a 1998 interview with her from SMOKE magazine, and this wonderful photo appeared alongside it. Is Jessica Steen a diehard cigar-smoker? It's probably too much for a stogie-chewer like me to hope for. But still, she sure looks delicious with a smoke in hand, doesn't she?

Posted by Wally Conger, who has a thing for Jessicas, whether Steen or Rabbit.

Smokin' Babe :: Sharon Stone

I hear that even though Sharon Stone was Cigar Aficionado's covergirl just a couple of years ago, she now demands a "no cigar smoke" policy when she works. What's up with that, Sharon?

Regardless, Ms. Stone is still one hot cookie after more than two decades in the movies, and she certainly qualifies as one of our Smokin' Babes!

Posted by Wally Conger, whose, uh, basic instinct tells him that no matter what the gossip, Sharon Stone loves a good ceegar.

Mickey Spillane: 1918-2006

The roar of the .45 shook the room. Charlotte staggered back a step. Her eyes were a symphony of incredulity, an unbelieving witness to truth. Slowly, she looked down at the ugly swelling in her naked belly where the bullet went in. A thin trickle of blood welled out. ...

"How c-could you?" she gasped.

I only had a moment before talking to a corpse, but I got it in.

"It was easy," I said.

Posted by Wally Conger, who wishes more authors today wrote like the great Mickey Spillane.